it all started years ago. nobody noticed at first.
there were signs. subtle ones. like that one time you said "this song kinda slaps" but meant it a little too much.
then it escalated. suspicious levels of style. questionable music taste (in a good way).
experts (me) began investigating.
after careful observation, multiple unnecessary theories, and absolutely zero qualifications, i have reached a conclusion.
you are gay.
this is a certified announcement. there is no appeal process.
thank you for your time.
